Saturday, November 10, 2012

Blank Happy Feeling | the thing that happens to you before winter

log in to Facebook - its the same thing everyday. Its very easy to get bored, and I am very good at easy things.
The sky is bright white blue. its blue with a layer of thin white cloudy. Sunlight is direct but a bit diffused overall. Shadows are dark with fragile borders. and this gentle north breeze, of which my mother warned me - I may catch a cold. Hardly matters! Long time I haven't sneezed hard even. Oh that dizzy headache headache feeling with repeated sneezing- I miss those things!! Its November. The thing that weather does to me before the winter. I never noticed before this time. The difference that brings indifference in me. This weather - this time - this home. When I feel that blank happy feeling - an urge to leave and stay at the same time.

Basically I have this luxury today - because to be honest I have no serious work to do right now. That doesn't mean I am jobless - I have my semester coming up next to next to next week. - that's not as long as it sounds, my past experiences taught me that. Funny the way it is - I cannot start to be serious unless its really the eleventh hour. BESU does it to you. Or is it the way I am ?

Suddenly I miss my childhood days. How could I possibly turn down my habit of reading books? Once I remember my afternoons were lost in books, stories that built their worlds in my head. Now? I have this really cool laptop so I let those books gather dusts. Its awful. But I don't feel bad about them right now. I miss them. Still its this blank happy feeling that keeps growing in me.. the thing that happens to you before the winter.