Monday, October 22, 2012

Same thing

the last post in this blog was on July 21st.
I used to blog when something blog-worthy happened in my life. But for some time, nothing like that happened.
I tried to write something many a times but after typing a few lines I just switched back to something else.
I am stuck in those doldrums again. Same thing. No excitement. No enthusiasm. All I have been doing from the beginning of my 3rd year were done on a very pretentious and false impression of apparent show-off of interest.
I am not pessimistic.
I am neither optimistic. I am just stuck in between. With no force to push me forward and none to drown me either. Nothing is happening. I am becoming void. I remember those days when I starved of intellectual hunger. Now, it has become a habit. I don't feel it anymore. Maybe it is the way I should be. Or maybe it is a temporary state.

Somethings , though have changed.

I am living a lot more in the hostel than my previous years. I have a new address - Room 30, Macdonald Hall, B.E.S.U., Shibpur. I used to be excited about the fact that our college got the hosting right of the ZoNAL NASA Zone 4. Further, I am a member of the Hosting Batch too. I did the job I do the best - I became the editor of the Magazine. I can't say I am happy about it. But, definitely I am proud about it. The magazine is in press right now. Hope it comes out by 25th, as 26th is the first day of our convention. Even if it doesn't, hardly matters to me. I don't possess it . I don't possess anything. I don't even possess my self.

This is not pessimism - please note.

I think this is mnmlsm. Getting rid of useless emotions - a path for true beauty, maybe .