Sunday, January 15, 2012

I'm a rebel

I may not find the answer, but its really important to ask the question. If so, why so and if not, then why not ? In the primary stage , when I started asking questions, I became too skeptical. Some people scolded me, some made fun of me and some just started to avoid me. At that stage my logical and emotional mind sets are tangled together and I felt sad about the fact that people in general, took critical straight forward questions and opinions about their works, offensively. Nevertheless, the behavioral harness was not strong enough to hinder me from asking the questions. But slowly I brew them in my mind, rather announcing them in public.
Some, exceptional people I found in my way, who were quite like me in this certain aspect and they tried to answer all the questions I had, as much as they could. But, then again, their effort was not enough to meet up to my thirst. It was not knowledge that I looked for, this is where they got me wrong. My questions where not mere questions, they were my keys to freedom.
What is the purpose of life ?
When I ask myself such a question, it is very difficult for me to construct one singular concrete answer. But amazingly, few days back I asked this to one of my friends, and she answered it quite confidently and to my astonishment, she was quite possessive about it. But for me, still, this question boggles my mind. It drowns my head into a sea of countless answers none of which is better or worse than the other. Thus I can't find an answer. And I know I don't need to. Because it is not the answer that I need. All I need is to keep myself asking that question and many others, day after day; just to keep me alive, just to keep me thinking.
And that is what I need. 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

If so , why so? If not , why not ?

Proposed Scripts for my Menhir
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Meaningless Search for Meanings; Chapter 1- Happiness

its 1:18 am as I am writing the post. Its raining hard outside which makes my chances of making it to college in the morning fewer. Today , there was only one class, the last one. Lucky me, I didn't take the trouble of reaching college in first half.
Life is changing very very fast, fast enough to make you forget that its changing.
Recently, my wasteful non-productive time killing self proclaimed intellectual discussions with myself led me to define happiness. It goes like this - a state of mind where thoughts are unbiased, expressions are natural, behaviors are honest and hesitation is null. Now, being nihilist from the root, ( am I sure? ) it is very difficult for my other part to accept this definition but nevertheless its plain and simple my own definition , claimed and disclaimed on my own blog.
happiness, only when shared.