Thursday, June 16, 2011

Why Blog? Blog why?

when I was young, I used to imitate things I liked.. I tried to copy styles of handwriting of my classmates, on each session I had new handwriting in the same exercise book...I imitated ways of talking and walking of Ben-hur, of the Terminator, of Captain Haddock, of Viru-and Jay..I still remember I memorized the whole of 'Hirak Rajar Deshe' . I used to rehearse the dialogues of Harry Potter in my shower.. I think I became Harry Potter when I went to bathroom...
and when I was younger, it didn't seem to me that I was imitating, it seemed almost real to become Peter Parker, the Batman, the Justice League, and oh of course .. Pokemon.. (my uncle used to say 'Pokaye Mon' ..which means 'mind stuck with insects'...and that's quite close to a literal meaning..:-) ) .. and today I don't even remember , where I put all my collections of pictures and things that came inside Potato chip's pack..
and then came the craze of Beyblade, and I remember I had half a dozen of those made-in-Thailand-imported-from-China metal 'lattus' costing a hundred bucks each..and I had buddies with comparable collections with whom I would regularly enter the arena 'Battles of the Beyblades' hosted on the portico of our school after hours.
when I first saw the video of Summer of 69, I think I was in class seven or so... I used to daydream that I am Bryan Adams and I am the band and I am rocking the earth with the same song with guitars flashing in my hand over and over again..Same remained for a long time and the songs kept changing to Hotel California, Wind of Change, Mr. Tambourine Man , November Rain and much much more..
Talking about music, quite unexpectedly, Eminem took a good blow on me.. I used to rap 'When m gone jus carry on, don mourn, rejoice evry tym u eear the soun of mah voice..' and do those rapper things in my shower..
the list of obsessions for imitations kept growing... I became Stone Cold Steve Austin, Brock Lesnar, Rey Mysterio and of course The Undertaker !
and I thought I believed to be on the top of the world...but I didn't know the name of the tree across the street...
Days went by, I grew older, Pokemons and Beyblades were lost in the loft...but this habit of imitation didn't leave me...but I became better..Imitation transformed to inspiration...now I created something, which I appreciated over imitating... But still it was imitation of some sort..imitating a fashion... it was poetry....and at the very beginning of class eleven, I found a friendly group , Soumyadip, Deepanjan, Anish , Uddalok, Suvajit .. we called ourselves 'antel' (intellectuals) those days, and now we call ourselves 'pagla' (which means crazy) , who were like minded (and still we are) and we used to be the Keats and Eliot of our class...it payed me good though, the language teacher fancied our group, I remember mine and Soumyadip's poem got selected for our annual school magazine ..which seemed like Pulitzer for us...

I think I drifted a lot from the title .. Why Blog? Blog Why?

This blogging.. too started not on my own will.... Couple of years back, when there was Orkut and Orkut only, and no Facebook in the market, I saw the first blog of my life..the author was Shoili Pal, one of my first totally netizen-friend..whom I never saw in real life..http://weirdlifetapestry.blogspot.com/ ....It had a different url then...
When I saw her blog, I was amazed, wow.. your own website .that too for free... that's cool...I must have one like this...This 'I must have one like this' ruined me and simultaneously benefited me too ..
Blogger improved a lot recently..with all these new templates and plugins and one click buttons on Chrome...then, it was rather not so stylish...but I really like you Shoili, you kept that same old template...(or are you afraid, you will lose all the posts if you change the template ? ..LOLz..)
This blogging was one of the obsessions (another is photography) that stayed .. it didn't run away from me..it became a hobby...and a really good hobby...you might have observed that this is a really new blog...but, I had about 8 blogs earlier to this one, and I deleted all of them...but luckily, this one has survived quite long...

I always try to find a thousand ways of doing things rather than mastering a particular way.. I was not a sincere blogger like Shoili, neither am I at present... but I was busy finding how to change the background colors, how to upload videos, and also other blog tools like Wordpress and stuffs...One of my 'successful' blogs was one on my school which owes credits to my friends too....
www.memories-of-patha-bhavan.blogspot.com

One year at Shibpur, changed me a lot...now I have a mirror with me and I can see myself..the mirror also reflects my memories and it also shows what I have been all my life... I am really proud of what I have been...well, may be its humble to say 'satisfied' rather that 'proud'...And I also believe that the 'Best is yet to come' .. and this blog , partially is my mirror.. and thus dedicated to Whom it may concern....

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Her First Rain

she gave her first rain...in style in elegance....we had our forecasts wrong, we predicted that we will have to wait more, she proved us wrong, and we are happy that we were wrong.. the serenity of it hypnotizes us in the truth, the truth of reality..the truth of nature, her immense power- no matter how much you hurt her, she can always forgive you..she is so powerful.
what is power ?
we are wrong again..its not men who have power ; but its power who have men..acting like puppets, following the age old hierarchy, only in different forms, in forms less honorable, in forms more violent...look at this world, look at the chaos, look at the beautiful wars, the beauty of pain, of shame and of countless brainwashed brothers killing each other..Owen might have called it futile, may be he said so to regret the consequences of his 'act of faith' ..but is it so? Are they all worthless ? Do they really have no purpose?
what is purpose?
we are wrong again...fundamental footstep is in the wrong path. why look for purposes ? why try to find what what's in the inside if we haven't been yet able to appreciate the outside? are we too restless to appreciate it? or are we afraid of the consequences? what if we realize? Are we afraid of realizing? From the very moment we broke up with submission , we walked bravely in the path of questioning things..pretty adventurous were the days at start, pretty passionate they were few days ago, pretty challenging they will be in days to come...we found answers, or rather we answered them in ways which satisfied us..but we never answered enough.we just can't stop asking..more more more....deeper deeper deeper..but will we reach it? can we really find something in the end? something absolute? trash the theories that 'absolute is nothing'? the absolute which will unite the the mountain and the sand? whether or not we reach it, we can never stop asking; can we? WHO CAN GUARANTEE THAT WE ARE NOT IN A CLOSED LOOP? that there is an end and there was a beginning? who ?
take a card , a piece of paper or whatever you can. on one side write 'what's in the opposite is true' , turn around, on the other side write 'what's in the opposite is false'. you just created a paradox. child's play isn't it?
is it?
think about it. think as hard as you can, as long as you can, you can spend a lifetime solving this paradox, but you can never solve it.. both can't be true, both can't be false, nor can be valid the solution - one is true and the other is not...and thus you conclude - 'there is no solution' ..and wrong again! you just can't find the solution..the fallacy of your Science! you don't have any power - its power who have you...lucky you..

It all seems like a pain in the neck, simply nothing else...

It all stops..it all freezes for a moment.. you realize its not about the truth or the false..its all a question of interpretation.. the way you see it...the way you believe you can...the way you love to...

and for a moment, no matter how busy you are, how important the mail is, how violent the bombing is, how shamefully the politician acted, how idiotically the police behaved, with how much force the news broke in, you just stop - look listen and touch...and wonder how can a thing so simple be so beautiful.....she takes you all...she gives you the thing you never found out ..peace...for a moment.......you know all the reasons...yet you know nothing...

Her first rain is enough to make you bow...

Wednesday, June 1, 2011